Tag Archives: existence

Happy endings !!

Happy endings !!! Is there anything like that which exist in real life. Isn’t it very subjective thing ?

Most of the time our wants and expectations from things, relationships and people are so high that in reality we think everything ends abruptly. It so happens with us sometimes that end of a novel or a movie leaves us wanting for more. It is only in hindsight we realize that it was the logical end, happy or otherwise.

“The end” when you least expect, will always come with element of surprise and shock.  It will depend more on how you take it, accept it and deal with it.

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Time flies

Growing up has always been a part of our life but unfortunately we never consciously get to know “that” fact. Its only when you spent some quiet time alone, you realize that something has changed. One more interesting thing about growing up is that you never grow uniformly. And this uneven growth is what defines our personalities.

Its been more than 6 years now I have been writing and maintaining this blog. When I started, I could never imagine that it will survive for six long years. In all these years, the blog has not really kept pace with my time. Sometimes it went ahead and sometimes languished behind, but it has always been a companion. In this process, the blog has been through many changes in its avatars and even saw one name change. It all happened.

There was a time when I used to post twice or thrice or even more in a month and there came a time when I dint posted anything for almost months together. But silently, quietly it has always been there, observing and witnessing this growing up. People came and went, things happened, life happened, and this blog saw everything unfolding. It also saw the birth of two new blogs, one that is personal diary and other, nirvanatrails about the new hobby/interest, photography.

It has given me an opportunity to know many people, which I may not have known in its absence and which contributed to the growth as I mentioned earlier. Directly or indirectly it became the reason for/behind many things. It introduced me to writing. It taught me to express myself in a better way which was true blessing for introvert like me.

Here’s hoping to continue this journey, for times to come.

Questions !!!

What am I doing here? Is there any purpose? If there is any purpose, why am I wondering like a nomad? Who brought me here and for what?

What am I suppose to do now? Karma? What for? Why? And most importantly how?

Nobody asked for my permission before getting me here !! No talks, discussion, consent. Nothing. Now why should I follow the rules? Rules? Who made these rules? Society? Who gave them right to decide what I am suppose to do? What is good and what is right? Why should I follow the definition of right and wrong by the society.

Is society perfect after it defined right and wrong? Has rules and law made this world better place? No? Then why should I fucking follow them.

दौड़ते शहेर का हिस्सा हु मै |

दौड़ते शहेर का हिस्सा हु मै,

हकीक़त में उलझा किस्सा हु मै |

हादसों के इस शहेर में,

लम्हों का सिलसिला हु मै |

य़ू आते जाते लम्हों में,

भूली बिसरी यादों का हिस्सा हु मै |

The boy and his story

Enter the classroom.

Enter the boy.

Somewhere around 1 in the afternoon, the boy, shy and reclusive, innocently enters the classroom on 1st floor of the school premise. His shoulder carrying the grayish black school bag, as simple as his water bottle in the hand, the boy always had this fascination with simple things which even attracted curios eye from teachers, but this was his way. The boy looks around in the classroom as he enters and as usual he is one of the first ones to come, only couple of students are present and the ones with whom he is not friends with, so as their eyes meet, the boy looks away and heads towards his desk. Third row from the door, 3rd bench from the front. Shy he is.

The boy settles on the bench on his half side of the bench which accommodates two, and opens the bag, looks around the text books and note books, checks if he has all the necessary stuff needed for the days “periods”. Perfect, everything is in order, all the books and even the maths homework which he did unwillingly last night.

In the meantime almost all the students are here and even the teacher, the boy is lost in thoughts so didn’t know when teacher came, he is as usual thinking about the morning prayer and wished today again his favorite prayer should be there. – “हम को मन की शक्ति देना|”

The boy never really knew the exact meaning of the prayer till he was grownup but there were something about it which attracted him. The tune, the rhythm, that chorus sound of little ones emanating from that speaker on the wall. Serene. Tranquil. It still echoes in the mind of the grown up. It does. It was never a prayer for him, it was more of a music and a song which contained some hidden meaning of life. The meaning he did not wanted to ask anyone. The meaning, he thought he would come to know some day when he will grow up and move out of the school in a big bad world. And that happened.

The long bell rang and it brought complete silence in the classroom and everyone stood up for the prayer. The boy also stood with everyone, with the familiar sound flowing from the speaker….दुसरो की जय के पहले खुद को जय करें |

– –

Happy Birthday Boy. You have seen enough to be called Man.

– –

11 July 2011

Constant Evolution of Voided Existense

Do you know which is the most intriguing part of our existence? Its when some part of others still living inside us long after they have left us. It lives on in those oblivion part of ourself from where it can pop up anytime and gives us a big jolt, good enough to make us numb.

Constant evolution of this existence inside us over the years will make it more meaningful where one would be at peace with it and may be more comfortable to have them as silent companions for life in the form of memories. May be when things go wrong, when we dont have anyone to talk, when its difficult to find the way out and when life will be coming hard at us, we will have these memories to turn to. If not those people, their ‘some’ part would be still breathing inside us. And may be that will keep us going. Hopefully.

Naked Truth

Did you all know where were you heading when you all started? I dont think so. Dreams, aspirations coupled with the wings of knowledge, youth and enthusiasm and you thought you will conquer the world. Little did you know that life demands more from you, infact more then you can give it back. Its simple ‘quid pro quo’. Everything comes with a price tag, not a tag which you can manage with the power of your pocket but the tag that is hard to satisfy and price that is hard to pay. As you go on living, you pay the price in terms of relationships, love, innocence, humility and probably biggest of them all, soul. Days, months and years pass and you go on living, sometime to become a nice other half in a relationship, sometimes a successful entrepreneur, sometimes successful leader and sometimes something else. You carry the burden of the expectations that the family is having from you and not to forget the friends and society at large. In a bid to comply with rules and following customs you forget to nurture the beautiful relationships of your younger, innocent years. You sacrifice friends who mattered, people who cared, teachers who made you what you are, parents who gave this beautiful life. You forget everything and join the rat race and with all the wisdom and knowledge that you claim to have, you never realize that even if you manage this rate race and win, you are still a rat.

And one fine day you realize that, this is not what you wanted. And Voila.

13th March 2011